New year. New semester. New found attention?
Possibly.
I don't know what it is about this 2011, but I've been realizing a lot of guys are finally paying attention to me, or at least noticing me more. I'm catching a lot of guys "staring" at me--not in that creepy, heavy-breathing kind or way but in that way that suggests they are interested in or intrigued by my me. Now, the only reason this is so incredibly odd to me is last year (the goddamn cursed year of 2010) I could have rented a giant neon sign that magically floated above my head that flashed the words "NOTICE ME!" and I wouldn't have even turned a head. Now I catch guys all the time looking at me for the first time. And all I've been thinking about is WTF?
But it gets even better (and odder) than that. Not only are guys just noticing me more, but guys are always trying to engage me in some form of a flirtatious conversation. It's happening all over the place, in classes, in interviews, even on just random moments of downtime in the halls of UVU. And even more odd is it isn't limited to single guys. I've had two MARRIED guys engage me in a very flirtatious (and very uncomfortable for me) conversations. Just last night while riding TRAX home from Salt Lake, I was sitting across from this guy who looked about my age. It was very obvious he had a ring on but after looking up from my book and catching him looking at me more than a few times, he struck up a conversation with me. It was a pleasant enough conversation minus the fact he was very conspicuously flirting with me. Now, I am down for pretty much any experience but I draw the line at encouraging any form of infidelity and flirtatious conversations fit into that category.
Now, I don't want to get too ahead of myself. There is a very strong possibility that all of this is in my head, that it's all just wishful thinking. Maybe this new found attention, while real, is not a positive thing. Maybe all of this attention stems from the fact I have this tendency to be too awkward to function. I put my foot in my mouth on a daily basis and tend to go on verbal tangents about subjects that either A) No one knows anything about, or B) no one cares about (or more often than not, a combination of the two).
But for the sake of argument, let's pretend that this new found attention is both real and a good thing. The question that then pops into my head is why now? What has happened that has caused this sudden change? Why are guys noticing me now when I was next to invisible all last year? I haven't changed in anyway way (as far as I can tell). And for the most part, a good chunk of these guys who suddenly seem so intrigued by me are not new to my life. They've known me (or known of me) for a while now. And why it's perfectly normal for one guy to all of a sudden become interested in me, for five or six guys to simultaneously realize they suddenly give a damn about me is just too preposterous to fathom.
Something must have changed. The real sucky part is if the change was on my part, I'm screwed. I have no freaking idea what I've been doing differently. That is a very useful little piece of information. Because what if one day no one notices my existence again? Then, since I don't know what I did in the first place to get guys' attention, I can't bloody well do it again.
My life is tragic.
Love you.
Mean it.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
You Instantly Knew
Have you ever met someone and you instantly knew you were going to be friends?
That's how it was with Scott.
The first time we met was at a Superbowl party at the Sigma Chi house. We had been briefly introduced at the club fair on campus a few days before but I was too busy recruiting girls into my sorority that I only was able to catch his name and the fact he was my friend Josh's little brother.
I said hi as I sat next to him on the couch. He said hi and then was silent. We both watched the game as I waited for him to say something to start a conversation. I waited in vain. He was silent and had a puzzled expression on his face. After realizing he wasn't going to start talking, I asked him why he looked so pensive. He turned to me and replied, "What?" I asked him again why he looked so pensive. He briefly paused before replying, "I don't know what that means," in the most deadpan unabashed kind of way.
I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. His complete unembarrassed honesty caught me off guard and delighted me. As first impressions go, he couldn't have done better. Over the next few months, Scott & I developed a friendship that is still to this day one of the best I've ever had.
Unfortunately, one of the most efficient, effective, and destructive ways to end a friendship is to turn it into a doomed relationship. Our friendship-turned-relationship-ended in an explosive tempest of pain, betrayal, rage, and bitterness--whose effects I am still feeling.
But that's a story for another time.
Love you.
Mean it.
That's how it was with Scott.
The first time we met was at a Superbowl party at the Sigma Chi house. We had been briefly introduced at the club fair on campus a few days before but I was too busy recruiting girls into my sorority that I only was able to catch his name and the fact he was my friend Josh's little brother.
I said hi as I sat next to him on the couch. He said hi and then was silent. We both watched the game as I waited for him to say something to start a conversation. I waited in vain. He was silent and had a puzzled expression on his face. After realizing he wasn't going to start talking, I asked him why he looked so pensive. He turned to me and replied, "What?" I asked him again why he looked so pensive. He briefly paused before replying, "I don't know what that means," in the most deadpan unabashed kind of way.
I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. His complete unembarrassed honesty caught me off guard and delighted me. As first impressions go, he couldn't have done better. Over the next few months, Scott & I developed a friendship that is still to this day one of the best I've ever had.
Unfortunately, one of the most efficient, effective, and destructive ways to end a friendship is to turn it into a doomed relationship. Our friendship-turned-relationship-ended in an explosive tempest of pain, betrayal, rage, and bitterness--whose effects I am still feeling.
But that's a story for another time.
Love you.
Mean it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Kelly the Frantic Forgetter, a Humorous Internal Monologue
Oh, look. There’s...shit. What is her name? I know her. She was in my graduating class. It’s...um...Bridget? Bethany? Lindsey? Shit! What is her name??? She took A Capella with me. She was even in my section, altos, though I don’t remember if she was a first or second alto... Think, Kelly. Think! Tiffany? No, I’d remember if her name was Tiffany. What a wretched name. Who in their right mind would name their daughter Tiffany? Do they think their daughter is going to stay 21 forever? No one is going to take an old woman seriously when she’s living in an old folks’ home & her name is Tiffany. Wait, don’t I know a Tiffany? She married what’s his name...that guy who once shot me with a BB gun when we were hanging out at his house... Never mind. Let’s try to remember one forgotten name at a time.
Anne? Adrian? Kimberly? Shit. I swear I know her name. She was dating that Justin guy the same time I was dating Jason. We’d hang out all the time since Justin & Jason were both on the drumline. Come to think of it, she was dating Justin the entire time I dated Alex then Jason then Kendall. Even after I got out of that abortion of a relationship (only to enter a bad-idea rebound) she was still dating Justin. What was Justin’s last name? Pitts? NO, Justin Pitts is currently my friend whom I just met back in March. I only met Justin Pitts on account of him being roommates with Jon. What was high school Justin’s last name? Justin...Justin...Justin...Timberlake. Oh, great. Now I got Sexyback stuck in my head. What the hell is her name???
Come on! She hung out with Nicole and Alexis and that Harmoney girl with the perpetually bad highlight job and fake nails. She lived up on the other side of Provo, kind of where Danielle’s parents live. She went to that one party Nicole had where it was all girls so we all wore our “immodest” tank tops (oh, to be young and naïve). We all stole that caution tape from that construction site (oh to be young and stupid). There’s a picture of me somewhere in my tank top with the caution tape wrapped around my boobs. I had a rather sultry look on my face (even for how young I was). Danielle was in the picture too! She was smiling that goofy Danielle smile that everyone (guys or girls) thought was so cute. My tank top was red & Danielle’s was yellow. I had a conversation later that night on the phone with Alex. All the girls were giggling so I had to go hide in a closet to hear him. And then two girls were wrestling in the hallway and someone’s knee smashed a hole in the wall. Why is it I can remember all this stupid stuff but I can’t remember her goddamn name???
Shit, she’s looking right at me. Quick! Pull out your phone. La-de-da. La-de-da...checking my text messages...smile as if I’m reading something funny (though I’m just reading mom’s misspelled text about how I need to let out the dog when I get home. She really needs to reread what she texted before she sends them). Is she gone? Looking from my peripheral... Okay, she’s gone. Goddamnit, what is her name?
Come on! She hung out with Nicole and Alexis and that Harmoney girl with the perpetually bad highlight job and fake nails. She lived up on the other side of Provo, kind of where Danielle’s parents live. She went to that one party Nicole had where it was all girls so we all wore our “immodest” tank tops (oh, to be young and naïve). We all stole that caution tape from that construction site (oh to be young and stupid). There’s a picture of me somewhere in my tank top with the caution tape wrapped around my boobs. I had a rather sultry look on my face (even for how young I was). Danielle was in the picture too! She was smiling that goofy Danielle smile that everyone (guys or girls) thought was so cute. My tank top was red & Danielle’s was yellow. I had a conversation later that night on the phone with Alex. All the girls were giggling so I had to go hide in a closet to hear him. And then two girls were wrestling in the hallway and someone’s knee smashed a hole in the wall. Why is it I can remember all this stupid stuff but I can’t remember her goddamn name???
Shit, she’s looking right at me. Quick! Pull out your phone. La-de-da. La-de-da...checking my text messages...smile as if I’m reading something funny (though I’m just reading mom’s misspelled text about how I need to let out the dog when I get home. She really needs to reread what she texted before she sends them). Is she gone? Looking from my peripheral... Okay, she’s gone. Goddamnit, what is her name?
...
Brittany! It’s Brittany!
Brittany! It’s Brittany!
Love you.
Mean it.
Kelly the Dateless Wonder, a Humorous Internal Monologue
This is just stupid. Yet again, I could not find one lousy person to come with me to see these plays. I mean, admittedly I did kind of wait till the last second to start asking people. I didn't know I was going to come until 3 minutes before I was on the road heading to campus. But still, are none of my guy friends as impulsive as I am? Are none of them able to change plans at a moment's notice? Are none of them able to to drop everything to go on an adventure like I do? I either need to get more things to do or get less ambitious friends...
Of course, there have been times when I have planned way in advance to attend a play or some other event, only to either have my request for accompaniment politely declined or canceled at the last moment. However, the fact I don't know a terrible amount of guys here in Provo does contribute to the small number of options to choose from. Okay, I do know a fair amount of guys here but that number is reduced to guys I have contact information (which are arranged in the following hierarchy: cell phone numbers, facebook friends, email, have a class together, occasionally see walking the halls). That number is further reduced to guys who do not completely drive me insane, guys who don't illicit me to get so angry at them, I want to punch them in the face, and guys where I would rather dig my ovaries out with a spoon than go out with them again. Now that is a small number, I assure you.
Is there something wrong with me that makes me unable to secure one lousy date to one lousy event? Do I smell? No, I don't think so. Even though I am not a fan of showering (it just takes too much goddamn time!) I do it every day or every other day if I can manage it. Plus I am a perfume/scented lotion whore. I think I might have a slight phobia when it comes to how I smell so I'm always putting on perfume or scented lotion or what-have-you.
Am I physically unattractive? I mean, I admit I have put on some weight since high school. But I graduated five years ago. Who hasn't? Besides, when you combine my severe, burning hatred of exercise with the fact my main source of energy is Mountain Dew, there are bound to be some negative side-effects. Maybe my clothes are cute enough... This is a definite possibility. I tend to rather spend my hard earned wages on things that matter, like books & movies, than on clothes. I hate clothes shopping and I hate spending a ton of money on clothes. I'm slowly discovering that the cuter the clothes, the more expensive the are to purchase and I am just not willing to drop $100 on a pair of stupid jeans. (dropping $100 on a stack of books/comic books is a different matter)
Maybe I'm just too much for guys. It wouldn't be the first time. Remember when Greg broke up with me and I was talking to Gus afterward. I asked Gus why he thought Greg broke up with me and he said, "I think you were just too...much for Greg." (it should be noted that the ellipsis (...) was more like a thirty-second pause than just a moment of hesitation) I can be a little "much," whatever that implies. I mean, yes, I am assertive, self-confident and bold. I am also intelligent, feisty, and passionate. And I do have a habit of being strong-willed and even stubborn at times. I'm the type of girl who knows what she wants, knows how she can get it, and is very used to getting her own way. I guess that could be somewhat off-putting for guys. Hell, it could be off-putting for anyone, male or female. Maybe guys are intimidated by my passionate, self-assured personality. Or maybe they're intimidated by my intelligence.
Or maybe I'm just too awkward to function and they don't want to be seen with this train-wreck. I mean, let's face it. I can't go one day without putting my foot in my mouth somehow. Or what about the fact I can ramble on & on about a subject that no one else knows anything about and is not the least bit interested (see: American literature post-1865, American beat poetry, Quentin Tarantino films, Chuck Palahniuk books, serial killers, Russian literature, my argument about how batman is not a superhero but just a hero, feminism in the 1950s-1970s vs. today, my dog Randy, etc.)? Or the fact that during a conversation, I'm going seven different directions at once and, while I will eventually get back to my original point, I expect my fellow conversationalist to follow me on my confusing conversational journey? Or what about the fact I tend to talk exceedingly fast (and think even faster) and I get super annoyed if I have to reexplain myself or my thought process?
I think I'm beginning to see why I am always the dateless wonder...
Oh, well. No more time to think about it now. The first play is starting.
Love you.
Mean it.
Of course, there have been times when I have planned way in advance to attend a play or some other event, only to either have my request for accompaniment politely declined or canceled at the last moment. However, the fact I don't know a terrible amount of guys here in Provo does contribute to the small number of options to choose from. Okay, I do know a fair amount of guys here but that number is reduced to guys I have contact information (which are arranged in the following hierarchy: cell phone numbers, facebook friends, email, have a class together, occasionally see walking the halls). That number is further reduced to guys who do not completely drive me insane, guys who don't illicit me to get so angry at them, I want to punch them in the face, and guys where I would rather dig my ovaries out with a spoon than go out with them again. Now that is a small number, I assure you.
Is there something wrong with me that makes me unable to secure one lousy date to one lousy event? Do I smell? No, I don't think so. Even though I am not a fan of showering (it just takes too much goddamn time!) I do it every day or every other day if I can manage it. Plus I am a perfume/scented lotion whore. I think I might have a slight phobia when it comes to how I smell so I'm always putting on perfume or scented lotion or what-have-you.
Am I physically unattractive? I mean, I admit I have put on some weight since high school. But I graduated five years ago. Who hasn't? Besides, when you combine my severe, burning hatred of exercise with the fact my main source of energy is Mountain Dew, there are bound to be some negative side-effects. Maybe my clothes are cute enough... This is a definite possibility. I tend to rather spend my hard earned wages on things that matter, like books & movies, than on clothes. I hate clothes shopping and I hate spending a ton of money on clothes. I'm slowly discovering that the cuter the clothes, the more expensive the are to purchase and I am just not willing to drop $100 on a pair of stupid jeans. (dropping $100 on a stack of books/comic books is a different matter)
Maybe I'm just too much for guys. It wouldn't be the first time. Remember when Greg broke up with me and I was talking to Gus afterward. I asked Gus why he thought Greg broke up with me and he said, "I think you were just too...much for Greg." (it should be noted that the ellipsis (...) was more like a thirty-second pause than just a moment of hesitation) I can be a little "much," whatever that implies. I mean, yes, I am assertive, self-confident and bold. I am also intelligent, feisty, and passionate. And I do have a habit of being strong-willed and even stubborn at times. I'm the type of girl who knows what she wants, knows how she can get it, and is very used to getting her own way. I guess that could be somewhat off-putting for guys. Hell, it could be off-putting for anyone, male or female. Maybe guys are intimidated by my passionate, self-assured personality. Or maybe they're intimidated by my intelligence.
Or maybe I'm just too awkward to function and they don't want to be seen with this train-wreck. I mean, let's face it. I can't go one day without putting my foot in my mouth somehow. Or what about the fact I can ramble on & on about a subject that no one else knows anything about and is not the least bit interested (see: American literature post-1865, American beat poetry, Quentin Tarantino films, Chuck Palahniuk books, serial killers, Russian literature, my argument about how batman is not a superhero but just a hero, feminism in the 1950s-1970s vs. today, my dog Randy, etc.)? Or the fact that during a conversation, I'm going seven different directions at once and, while I will eventually get back to my original point, I expect my fellow conversationalist to follow me on my confusing conversational journey? Or what about the fact I tend to talk exceedingly fast (and think even faster) and I get super annoyed if I have to reexplain myself or my thought process?
I think I'm beginning to see why I am always the dateless wonder...
Oh, well. No more time to think about it now. The first play is starting.
Love you.
Mean it.
Monday, January 17, 2011
I Am Resolved
It looks like I was so busy writing an article about New Year Resolutions, (which can be read here) I forgot to make some of my own. There's probably some irony in there somewhere...
Anyway, as for resolutions, I'm not sure what I should resolve to do. I don't want to make any lofty promises to myself that, in a year, I'll look back at and laugh at my idiotic idealism. Of course, I don't want to just keep living my life the way it is without some vague attempt at self-improvement. So here they are, the five goals I am resolved to keep.
1. Write something (on this blog or in my journal or for the Review or just in my notebook) five days out of the week.
2. Don't get anything lower than a B in all of my classes.
3. Be less egotistical (this is going to be hard considering how freaking awesome I am).
4. Say "yes" to more experiences and adventures.
5. Be more bold when it comes to meeting new people and being outgoing.
That seems like enough. Let's not get too over-the-top excited about self-improvement.
Love you.
Mean it.
Anyway, as for resolutions, I'm not sure what I should resolve to do. I don't want to make any lofty promises to myself that, in a year, I'll look back at and laugh at my idiotic idealism. Of course, I don't want to just keep living my life the way it is without some vague attempt at self-improvement. So here they are, the five goals I am resolved to keep.
1. Write something (on this blog or in my journal or for the Review or just in my notebook) five days out of the week.
2. Don't get anything lower than a B in all of my classes.
3. Be less egotistical (this is going to be hard considering how freaking awesome I am).
4. Say "yes" to more experiences and adventures.
5. Be more bold when it comes to meeting new people and being outgoing.
That seems like enough. Let's not get too over-the-top excited about self-improvement.
Love you.
Mean it.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Things People Have Said That Made Me Laugh Part 2
Amber McNew: You crazy Canuck!
Ashley McNew: I'm not Jewish!
Brad Aukschun: If you steal from a church, no matter what the denomination, I'm pretty sure you're going to hell.
Bryan Shumway: I like Spanish Kelly. It's Fun!
Bryan Shumway: Kathy, I don't understand. You had 12 kills, yet you're still negative seven.
Bryan Shumway: I do not support people over $25.
Cindy Cannon: Get off of me, you emotionally imbalanced girl!
Greg Cannon: Stop pinching me!
Ali Cannon: Well, stop farting in my face!
Winston: What are you going to do? Put a gun to his head?
Guerrero: What's wrong with putting a gun to his head? A lot of productive things have happened by putting a gun to someone's head.
(From the show Human Target)
Jacob Ludlow: This is a judgment-free zone, but let's try not to make it confusing.
Jacob Ludlow: Okay, guys. Be normal for just a second!
John-Ross Boyce: I am the hydra of disdain.
John-Ross Boyce: It's like eating bad meatloaf while watching a NCIS marathon.
Kelly Cannon: You lied to me. You said a woodchipper wasn't involved.
Michelle Galbraith: Nothing like jeans inside of a onesie.
Mindy Haward & Kelly Cannon: The Culture Section--if it's not awesome, we're not there.
Natalie: You were probably just bisexual for a half-hour.
Unknown Newsroom Person 1: Where does the BYU newspaper get their budget from?
Unknown Newsroom Person 2: Mormons.
Robbie Pierce: Quick! Crush the recorder!
Eric Phillips: Did you say recorder or reporter?
Robbie Pierce: Does it matter?
Rikki: You're a bad feminist.
Mindy Haward: Dave wants us to push Oklahoma in the next issue. And by push, I mean promote the shit out of it.
Augustus Johnson: Actually, that's creepily optimistic coming from you. Quick, say something miserable!
Kelly Cannon: Uh...Puppies grow up, grow old, and die?
Augustus Johnson (upon finding out it's my birthday): Shit. Is it the 17th already?! Crap. Oh well. Happy Birthday!!! Welcome to the happy ranks of the 23 year olds!
Augustus Johnson (during a discussion on how to spell Okay Dokay): Isn't it "okey dokey?" Shit. Now they both look weird.
Jonathan Timothy (responding to a text I sent saying I was hopeless): You?!? Noooo. The Kelly I know doesn't give up that easily. Who is this?
Love you.
Mean it.
Ashley McNew: I'm not Jewish!
Brad Aukschun: If you steal from a church, no matter what the denomination, I'm pretty sure you're going to hell.
Bryan Shumway: I like Spanish Kelly. It's Fun!
Bryan Shumway: Kathy, I don't understand. You had 12 kills, yet you're still negative seven.
Bryan Shumway: I do not support people over $25.
Cindy Cannon: Get off of me, you emotionally imbalanced girl!
Greg Cannon: Stop pinching me!
Ali Cannon: Well, stop farting in my face!
Winston: What are you going to do? Put a gun to his head?
Guerrero: What's wrong with putting a gun to his head? A lot of productive things have happened by putting a gun to someone's head.
(From the show Human Target)
Jacob Ludlow: This is a judgment-free zone, but let's try not to make it confusing.
Jacob Ludlow: Okay, guys. Be normal for just a second!
John-Ross Boyce: I am the hydra of disdain.
John-Ross Boyce: It's like eating bad meatloaf while watching a NCIS marathon.
Kelly Cannon: You lied to me. You said a woodchipper wasn't involved.
Michelle Galbraith: Nothing like jeans inside of a onesie.
Mindy Haward & Kelly Cannon: The Culture Section--if it's not awesome, we're not there.
Natalie: You were probably just bisexual for a half-hour.
Unknown Newsroom Person 1: Where does the BYU newspaper get their budget from?
Unknown Newsroom Person 2: Mormons.
Robbie Pierce: Quick! Crush the recorder!
Eric Phillips: Did you say recorder or reporter?
Robbie Pierce: Does it matter?
Rikki: You're a bad feminist.
Mindy Haward: Dave wants us to push Oklahoma in the next issue. And by push, I mean promote the shit out of it.
Augustus Johnson: Actually, that's creepily optimistic coming from you. Quick, say something miserable!
Kelly Cannon: Uh...Puppies grow up, grow old, and die?
Augustus Johnson (upon finding out it's my birthday): Shit. Is it the 17th already?! Crap. Oh well. Happy Birthday!!! Welcome to the happy ranks of the 23 year olds!
Augustus Johnson (during a discussion on how to spell Okay Dokay): Isn't it "okey dokey?" Shit. Now they both look weird.
Jonathan Timothy (responding to a text I sent saying I was hopeless): You?!? Noooo. The Kelly I know doesn't give up that easily. Who is this?
Love you.
Mean it.
160 Movies I Love, Presented Without Comment or Explanation (in no particular order)
- Citizen Kane
- Casablanca
- Psycho (1960)
- The Godfather
- The Godfather Part II
- On the Waterfront
- It's a Wonderful Life
- Sleuth (2007)
- Some Like it Hot
- Airplane
- Babe
- Annie Hall
- Big Fish
- Fargo
- The Birds
- Boondock Saints
- The Bourne Trilogy
- The Brothers Bloom
- Crazy Heart
- The Departed
- Sunset Boulevard
- Kick-Ass
- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
- Dr. Strangelove
- Empire Records
- Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
- Smokin Aces
- To Kill a Mockingbird
- Rear Window
- North by Northwest
- True Grit (2010)
- Black Swan
- Big Jake
- Taxi Driver
- Accepted
- Live Free or Die Hard
- Jaws
- The Great Dictator
- Modern Times
- The Gold Rush
- Benny & Joon
- Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
- Fight Club
- Frost/Nixon
- Forrest Gump
- Gangs of New York
- Garden State
- Singin' in the Rain
- Gladiator
- No Country for Old Men
- Raiders of the Lost Ark
- Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade
- Dirty Harry
- I.Q.
- While You Were Sleeping
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- Stagecoach
- Silence of the Lambs
- Gran Torino
- Goodfellas
- Stranger than Fiction
- Anchorman
- Reservoir Dogs
- Pulp Fiction
- Kill Bill
- Kill Bill Part II
- Inglourious Basterds
- Sin City
- Once Upon a Time in Mexico
- Star Trek
- Ben-Hur
- Unforgiven
- Zombieland
- Good Will Hunting
- Gone Baby Gone
- Lucky # Slevin
- Green Street Hooligans
- Hellboy
- Hero
- The Hurt Locker
- The Shawshank Redemption
- 12 Angry Men
- Rudy
- Braveheart
- Hotel Rwanda
- Arsenic and Old Lace
- Gladiator
- The Court Jester
- Chinatown
- Ferris Bueler's Day Off
- What's Up, Doc?
- The Gods Must Be Crazy
- The Trouble with Harry
- Wait Until Dark
- On Golden Pond
- A Lion in Winter (1968)
- The Glass Menagerie
- The Rainmaker (1956)
- The Invention of Lying
- Kung Fu Panda
- Lars and the Real Girl
- Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
- The Magnificent Seven
- The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
- It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World
- No Time for Sergeants
- What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
- Gattica
- Reality Bites
- Strangers on a Plane
- Moon
- Ocean's 11 & 13 (screw 12)
- Pan's Labyrinth
- Pineapple Express
- The Princess Bride
- Reign of Fire
- A Scanner Darkly
- Serenity
- Secret Window
- Shaun of the Dead
- Snatch
- Stardust
- Super Troopers
- Sunshine Cleaning
- Taming of the Shrew (1976, Not the Elizabeth Taylor version)
- Toy Story 1, 2, 3
- Finding Nemo
- Underworld
- The Untouchables
- V for Vendetta
- Romeo + Juliet
- A-Team
- Batman
- Batman Returns
- The Dark Knight
- Date Night
- Despicable Me
- Doubt
- Easy A
- Howl
- How to Train Your Dragon
- Inception
- The Machinist
- Memento
- Monsters vs. Aliens
- Newsies
- The Other Guys
- Get Smart
- RED
- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
- Tangled
- The Hunt for Red October
- Baby Mama
- Mean Girls
- The Proposal
- Invictus
- Waiting...
- Alien & Aliens
- Die Hard
- Casino Royale
Love you.
Mean it.
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