Last night I went to Muse Music for the first time in nearly seven years. The summer I was 15-years-old, my two besties and I spent every Friday night there, gladly giving up our hard earned allowance to pay the cover. It has changed a lot since I frequented it as jail-bait. I like the setup now. It's a cafe in the front with a "stage-esque" playing room in the back that reminds me of what I imagine Oregon grunge bands first playing in.
The reason I revisited the place of my misspent(?) youth was John-Ross Boyce & his Troubles were playing. Even though I've only seen them play twice before, I thoroughly enjoy their performances and this one was their best yet. However, the first band was so god-awful, it bears repeating.
The first group consisted of five guys, 1 singer, 2 guitarists, 1 bassist, and 1 drummer, who all could be considered on the "edgier" side of hipster, if there is such a thing. Their "songs" consisted mostly of deep guttural screaming (i.e. what I imagine Satan himself sounding like, if he actually existed) and some higher pitched unintelligible singing/screaming (i.e. what Satan would sound like if he had his balls chopped off).
Apparently, their E.P. is called "The Decay of Human Existence," or some bullshit like that. A title like that sounds so trite and cliche, I started to feel bad for them. However, despite their complete lack of coherent and discernible lyrics & the intense desire I had to smack them for thinking they're a hardcore mix of Ozzy & The Used in Utah, their music didn't sound too bad. It was simple but clean & interesting enough and you can't complain about that, I suppose.
The one guitarist, whom I'm sure any able 5-year-old could beat up without difficulty, seemed to have an affinity for squatting up and down in a way somewhat reminiscent of a frog. It was terribly awkward to watch, especially when he kept doing it over and over and over. In fact, the entire band, minus the singer and drummer, seemed to enjoy squatting down as low as their tight pants will allow and thrashing their heads about. The frog-squatter wasn't too bad of musician. He played a few solos here and there that spoke of actual talent. I just wish he knew how utterly stupid he looked up there during his frog-squatting sessions. The bassist seemed WAY too into whatever the hell he was doing and, since I could never figure out what that was, he looked just silly.
Overall, first prize for the band Dismemberment of Me goes to the drummer for being the only bandmember who didn't look like a total asshole-tool on stage. But as a whole, this was a total suckfest.
Love you.
Mean it.
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