Questions from Inside the Actors Studio.

Have you ever seen Inside the Actors Studio?
At the end of every interview, there is a series of questions asked.
It's 10 questions based upon the Proust Questionnaire, which had more than 10 questions. I may answer all of those questions later.
But for now, I'll settle with the basic 10 questions.

1. What is your favorite word?
1. Liquor. But not for the reasons you may think. Just for how it sounds. It sounds beautiful.
2. What is your least favorite word?
1. Creamer. 
3. What turns you on?
1. Intelligence, a sense of humor, beards. 
4. What turns you off?
1. Cruelty. 
5. What sound or noise do you love?
1. The laughter of a baby or child.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
1. An alarm clock.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
1. Goddamitsomuch!
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? 
1. Executive assistant, midwife or mortician. 
9. What profession would you not like to do?
1. Slaughter house.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
1. Ha! Told you I was real, bitch! Anyway, get the fuck in here. 

Love you.

Mean it. 

This is not for you.

~This post is dedicated to the anonymous formspring questioner who asked me when I was going to post on my blog again. Thank you for letting me know people still care what I have to say~


I think I stopped posting on this blog because of two reasons. The first wass I experienced a case of hardcore writer's block. Nothing I wrote was even remotely decent. Thankfully that was broken after a quick trip to New Orleans. The second was I started to care too much about what people thought about what I wrote here. When I began this little experience, I didn't care if people read it. I honestly didn't think anyone did. I wrote because that's what I do. I am a writer (please god forgive me). I wrote because I needed a outlet for my creative energy. But then I discovered people not only read my blog but also liked it. I began to feel this pressure of writing for an audience, for writing something that people will like, that will get a lot of hits, that will make my stats go up. This is poison for creativity.

It suddenly wasn't about me writing because that's what I love to do and because I needed to do it. It was about choosing topics I know a lot of people would want to read.

This is bullshit, if you didn't already know.

I can't think of a more destructive thing to do in regards to my "art." I sold out, in the spiritual sense since I'm not getting a dime off of this.

Well, no more. I have learned my lesson. Therefore, I am rechristening this blog, letting it go back to its original purpose.

This blog is for my creative writing, for my thoughts, my poetry, my lists, my ramblings, but most importantly, for myself. If you like it and want to continue to read it, that's great. If not, that's okay too.

As Conor Oberst once sang, "I do not read the reviews. No, I am not singing for you."

I am a writer.
This is not for you.

Love you.
Mean it.

I'll Be Right Back

My Dear & Faithful Readers,

There's going to be a brief hiatus of postings here at Love you Mean it.

This is for several reasons.

First, the spring semester officially ended today and I'm feeling a bit worn out. I've got ten days before summer semester beings so I want to try & relax a bit and make a dent in a very long To (freaking) do list before diving in again.

Second, as you may or may not have known, I was recently named the new Culture Editor for the Review. We start publishing bi-monthly in June and then start up doing weeklies once fall starts again. As such, I've got a lot to prepare for so I'm going to be taking more time to do that.

Third and probably most important, my writing hasn't been very decent lately. Actually, in all honesty, it's been shit. I mentioned this before and it hasn't improved. I'm trying to get it back where it used to be but it's slow goings. I hate nearly everything I put down. It's especially frustrating when I have a few topics that I really want to discuss but I just can't seem to get the right words in the right order. But don't worry. I'm not going to give up. Maybe a few days to clear my head will help me sort it out.

As for how long this hiatus is, I don't know exactly. I could be back tomorrow or in a week. I promise I won't be gone more than a few weeks. I just thought I'd let you know why I'm not posting as often as before.

And now, dear & faithful readers, I leave you with the words of Frank Sinatra:

"I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniels."

Love you.
Mean it.

Stuff That's Changed

Hello, dear & faithful readers.

You may or may not have noticed things are slightly different around here. Let me explain:

Change #1:
I've decided to break up the "Experiments in Writing" list. It was just too long & it annoyed me. So now you can enjoy either "More Light-Hearted Experiments" or "Experiments That Are a Bit Heavier." If you want to read all of the "experiments" (I don't know why, but you are welcome to) the tag cloud still has all 55 posts under the tag "experiments." I will continue to tag them as "experiments" but will also tag them as their respective mood.

Change #2:
The tag/list of "Random, Possibly Funny Thoughts" is no more. I just wasn't using it so I've integrated all of those posts to "More Light-Hearted Experiments."

Change #3:
I've added a tag/list called "Updates." It is for more personal updates about my life that aren't really experiments in writing. They're more like heads-up on my life, or basically what most blogs are. This post, for example, will be tagged and listed as an "Update."

Change #4:
This one only affects people who access my blog via posts on Facebook. Up until now I've been posting the link to the blog itself: justkellyandherstories.blogspot.com. Now I will be posting links to the newest post. This is solely to see which posts are more popular to satisfy my own egotistical curiosity.

I think that's everything. Thank you again, faithful reader, for being a faithful reader.

Love you.
Mean it.

Christmas Report

Christmas has come and gone. It was a pretty sweet day, no doubts about that. It was spent watching movies, going to the movies, watching football, cuddling with fluffy unicorns, eating tons of junk food, and dodging flying marshmallows.

Allow me to explain...

This year we started a new tradition. While we've always exchanged names within our family, this year we had to purchase a toy for our chosen family member. This was a great idea and I'm so glad we did this. My parents got me a fluffy white and pink unicorn a la Despicable Me. It was my favorite movie this summer and I begged my parents to get me a fluffy unicorn. I had completely forgotten about wanting one until I opened the bag and saw her. I really wish someone would have gotten a picture of my face. It was epic. Also, my sister Cindy got my dad a pump-action marshmallow shooter and a whole bag of mini marshmallows. This made opening gifts a bit perilous since at any moment, you could be pelted by flying marshmallows and forced to duck and cover. And I assure you, getting hit in the eye with a marshmallow that was shot out of a gun hurts more than it sounds like it would.

Later my dad, my mom, Cindy, and myself watched Despicable Me. My dad hadn't seen it but loved it. Cindy, mom, and I laughed through the whole thing. It's a freaking hilarious movie plus makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. There's a part where Gru is looking at his family tree portrait on the wall and the girls have drawn a line from Gru and added drawings of themselves underneath. Ohh, it breaks my heart! Not to mention the minions are so freaking funny! If you haven't seen this movie, go do it!

At ten last night, I went out with my bestie Jon and his brother Daniel and saw the movie True Grit. I was raised on John Wayne movies and the original True Grit is one of my favorites. But this masterful retelling by the Coen brothers is just fantastic! It's so freaking good! I'm going to add my thoughts about the film in a later post. There's just too much!

As Christmases go, this one was really awesome. I'm so very grateful for my family and for my friends for all the support and love they have given me.

Love you.
Mean it.

So This Week...Holy Crap.

Holy crap.

I know it's only been about three days since my last post but it feels more like a lifetime. It's been the last week of classes so school has been basically the sole item on my mind. I've been working on a paper for my Academic Writing class and I really, really like it. It's going to be awesome when it's done. I have two other essays to write; one is due on Monday and the other on Wednesday but I know I can pull it off.

The other way more exciting news is we got another dog! His name is Randy after A Christmas Story. Our other dog is named Ralphie because we got him around Christmas time seven years ago. Randy is a chihuahua/rat-terrier mix and is adorable. He loves to be held and loves to cuddle. I just love him.

The other great news is last night we had our last improv show of the year and it was our best yet! It was so freaking funny! I don't know what made the difference but everyone had lots of energy, everyone was excited, we had great suggestions, and everything seemed to just click. It was a riot. I'm so glad we ended on a positive note.

Well, I know this post hasn't been too interesting but, as I mentioned earlier, school has been the only thing on my mind lately so even right now as I'm typing this, I'm thinking "Crap, I really need to keep working on that paper."

So until next time, Happy Christmas (or whatever other holiday you wish to celebrate.)

Love you.
Mean it.

Improv Show!

My improv group is having a show this Friday. YAY!

It's at 7:00 pm in the UVU Library Theater
Tickets are $2 per person or $3 for a couple.

Be there or be somewhere else!

p.s. I will be posting some actual content soon. You can stop worrying now.

Love you.
Mean it.

The Times, They Are A'Changing

I've been thinking a lot today.

I've come to realize that it's always when we look back that we notice how much we've changed. We grow up, we mature, we learn and we grow. We look back and we see the distance we have covered in our journey of life. We hardly ever realize we're changing when we're in that state of change.

I've only been thinking about it because for the first time I have realized I'm changing while I'm in that state of change. I don't even know how to describe the change that is taking place. I'm less happy-go-lucky (if you ever believed I was to begin with). I've cut myself off from destructive relationships that I only maintained because I had no one else to go to. I trust strangers a lot less and I find myself often feeling angry or irritated for no apparent reason.

But a good change is I've made friends, or rather, I've strengthen the friendships I've had. I've realized now who means a lot to me and who really doesn't. The greatest of these realizations is discovering that my friend Jon is probably the only friend I completely trust within a 200 mile radius. He's my dearest friend within that radius as well. He was one of the very first people I met when I moved. He knows more about me than most people do up here. I trust him. He's become one of my very few friends whom I would drop everything to help. I'm very lucky to have him as a friend.

I'm becoming more self-confident but in a different way. I've always been self-confident but I'm learning how to be so in a more passive way. I'm learning to be content being by myself. I'm learning to feel of worth when I'm alone. It's hard, really hard but I'm making progress.

I've said this before, I'm sure. I'm just trying to figure out a way to live my life that works for me. And I guess that means I need to be open to change, not only around me but also within me. As long as all of the changes help me to be happy, I can deal with it I suppose.

Love you.
Mean it.

Why Yes, I Am Miserable.

So I'm sick.

I have a rather irritating cold that is making me miserable. And to add to my misery, it's fall break. So instead of enjoying my time away from the stress of school and work, I get to be in bed, sneezing, coughing, and generally hating life.

The only up side to this whole thing is I might be able to get more writing done than I have in a while. With nothing else to do & being confined to either my bed or the couch, my laptop will be a source of sanity for me. No promises though.

Love you.
*cough cough*
Mean it.

Invitation to Help the Provo Survivor--Comedy Night Benefit Show

The following is an open invitation to anybody who is in the Wasatch Front area, or any other place but has decided to come and visit.

I'm a member of the UVU improv group called "What's So Funny?" In conjunction with the UVU Applied Behavioral Science Club (ABSC), we're putting on a benefit improv comedy show on Monday, October 18th.

Here are more specifics:

What: Comedy Night featuring "What's So Funny?" Improv Group

When: Monday, October 18th

Time: 7 pm

Where: Center Stage in the Student Center on UVU Campus

Price: $3 w/ any student I.D., $4 w/o student I.D. 

We're raising funds for the "Provo Survivor," the former UVU student who was attacked on the Provo River Trail earlier this year. Even after insurance, her medical bills are over $200,000. All of the proceeds go to help this woman who has had to endure so much. 

In case you have never even heard this story, here's the run down. A 19 year old woman was running on the Provo River Trail when some bastard attacked her. He brutally raped her, then bashed her head in repeatedly with a brick and left her for dead. (And what makes me really sick is it all happened in broad daylight!) 

She was somehow able to survive, crawl out of a ditch and get help. She was the ICU for a very long time. 

Luckily they caught the guy and his court date has been pushed back far enough that the woman is going to be well enough to testify against the creep. 

Sometimes there isn't punishment enough for this kind of evil.

Here are some articles about the attack. 

So if you're going to be in the area, I ask that you come and help this young woman and her family with her medical bills so she can move on with her life. Plus, you'll get a really funny show. You'll laugh and you'll feel good about yourself. 

Love you.

Mean it. 

Rip Van Winkle

I can't seem to write anything today.

Must be due to the fact I slept for 14 hours straight last night.

It sure isn't from lack of ideas. I have about four things I really want to write about. I just can't seem to get it all to come together and work.

Maybe tomorrow will be better, after I get a normal amount of sleep.

Love you.
Mean it.

Twitter Account

The time has come for all of you awesome people out there who read my blog to get to know me on a more "what's Kelly like on an average day" kind of basis. Therefore, I am announcing the Love You Mean It Twitter Account!

And there was much rejoicing and celebrating in the streets. 

The blog will post all of my super special tweets on the side column right underneath the pretty tag cloud.

If you have a twitter and want to follow me, you can do so here. And if you tweet me and say you read my blog, I'll follow you. That seems fair, right?

So stay tuned and go nuts.

Love you.
Mean it.

Ask Away

If any of you guys out there have any questions for me, go here:
http://www.formspring.me/mskellycannon

I'll answer anything you guys ask. Promise three times.

Love you.
Mean it.

Things On My Mind

I've had a lot on my mind lately.

I just finished my first semester at UVU (my eighth in college) and before I had a moment to breathe, I started my second semester. I don't like them being so close together. My hope and excitement of a new semester is contaminated by the remnants of cynicism from the last. Which is a shame considering that this new semester I sincerely like my classes. American Lit, Intro to Film, and Contemporary Critical Lit. Thank God my American Lit class starts at 1865. In America, nothing remotely interesting was written before the Civil War, with the exception of The Scarlet Letter and Moby Dick. My film class is tons of fun. Not to mention, the professor seems to like me since he'll mention a movie and I'm the only one who has seen it. That's due to the fact in Cedar City, there's not a whole lot to do so watching movies was a way of life. I miss those Bad-Ass-Movie-Nights. More than I care to admit... My Critical Lit class is difficult but there's a cute red-head guy who sits next to me. He has a scruffy beard and a Mac so he can't be all bad, right?

I've been writing for the UVU Review. I just handed in my second article, which will be the top story for the Culture section. It was on Miss Utah, a chick from UVU. I don't care for pageants for reasons I'm sure you all are smart enough to figure out. But I liked writing it. I like writing in general. I don't know why I do it sometimes. Every now and then I'll read some work from someone else, someone I know personally and I get so depressed because I do not feel my work is nearly as good as his. It's beautiful and tragic at the same time.

Guys seem to finally be coming back into my life, though as fast as I want them to. I'm impatient, I guess. And I hate the whole unknowing involved with liking someone. I don't know. It's all so stupid. I mean, I've been alone for a long time now. And I was alone a long time before my last relationship. Maybe it's because it's summer. Summer never really held much Romanticized views for me. It's too hot. I burn easily. And I always feel so gross when I sweat. But on warm nights when the sun is setting but it's still light out, I would like to lie in the grass next to someone I care about. But wishful thinking...

My room is in disarray. It reminds me of a Charles Bukowski poem, though I don't remember which one. I really should clean it. I don't mind my room being messy but if anyone ever comes into my room when it's like this, I want to kill myself. It's embarrassing, one of the few things I find embarrassing. Maybe that's just wishful thinking as well, to think someone would come into my room soon.

I've been craving a road trip lately. I don't really care where I go. I just want to go and see where I end up. I want to see something new, something different. I don't want to go on my own. But I can't think of anyone I'd want to come with me. Okay, that's a lie. I can think of several people I'd like to come with me. But I don't think they would for reasons that will remain my reasons. Besides, school is still in session. I have a week long break in August. That's my "summer vacation." Oh, well. Besides, my Babygirl isn't well. Her battery is dead. And when I say dead, I mean DEAD. I've jumped-started her three times, drove hundreds of miles, and her battery still won't charge. It's d-e-a-d. So I've been driving my sister's car while she's up in Yellowstone with 4/7ths of my family. I never knew I could become so attached to a car. But I am. My Babygirl is apart of my identity. Driving my sister's Ford Taurus (affectionally called Hector) I feel like a fraud. That car is not me, it's not mine. I'm a poser, driving a car that is not who I am. It's a weird, uncomfortable feeling.

I'm babbling now, I know. But like I said, I've had a lot on my mind...

Love you.
Mean it.

Where I Am Right Now

I'm trying a new background for my blog. I like it but we'll see if it gets on my nerves after a while.

Anyway, there are only ten more days in the semester and I am really feeling the crunch. I guess that happens when you don't really try for the first four weeks or so and then scrabble to pull up your grades. I don't know why it's been so hard for me to focus and do my work. Okay, that's a lie. I do know why. It's because of my lack of social interaction. It leaves me alone and depressed. And I'm never really in the mood to do homework when I'm alone and depressed, even though I really don't have anything else to do.

I have been writing more but since my last piece for my writing class was absolute shit, I haven't been really motivated to write more. I've been trying to write about my brother, Greg, but I don't really know how to write about him. I have all these small stories about him from us growing up together but I really don't know how to get them all together in a cohesive format. I have to make a portfolio for that writing class with three polished pieces. I'm screwed. The first piece I wrote wasn't too bad, the second was shit, and I haven't even begun the third. I don't know what I'm going to do.

My ethics class has been an interesting one. I love philosophy and I love to debate issues, but sometimes in this class it feels like I'm beating a dead horse. We all talk and discuss ourselves into circles without really getting anywhere. We also have mandatory volunteer hours due. Doesn't the term "mandatory volunteer" strike you as a paradox or at least ironic? It' part of our grade to volunteer for ten hours somewhere. I have done zero so far. Yep, I'm in trouble.

The funny/tragic thing is that this semester ends on the 23rd and the next semester starts the 24th. I'm not going to have a single day for a break in between. That sucks. So it goes.

This post has been rather random, I know. I just talked about school but really that's the only thing going on in my life right now. Hopefully my life become more exciting soon.

Love you.
Mean it.