Granted, feminism has been around for a while and has gone through many waves, changes, focuses, etc. but the essential core of feminism is the belief that women deserve the same rights, privileges, opportunities etc. as men and should not be discriminated against just because they happen to be women. However, because of its changes, misconceptions still abound. And frankly, I'm getting really sick of it.
So I am here today to try and set the record straight. The following is an attempt to explain what feminism is and what it is not. It is by no means an exhaustive list and is not the end all be all but it's a start.
Feminism is not...
- Man-Hating
This is probably the biggest misconception that I encounter and I'm probably not alone on this. Feminism and feminists do not hate men as a general whole. It's true that it may seem like we direct a lot of our frustration and anger towards men (and it is true in the sense of us hating rapists, pimps, wife-beaters, etc.) but it's not necessarily true. Instead, feminist hate patriarchy. Patriarchy, for the uninitiated, is a form of social organization in which the father or just a male is the supreme authority or beneficiary of the society or family. Most civilizations, societies and religions are patriarchies, where men are viewed as the dominant, superior sex and receive and enjoy the most benefits of the society. As such, while patriarchy lifts men up, it simultaneously pushes women down.
The evidence of patriarchy can be seen all over the place: a woman being paid less than a man for the same work, the expectation of a woman to get married, stay at home and raise the kids (not that there is anything inherently wrong with wanting to stay at home and raise kids. More on that later), the idea that girls only like dolls and dresses and other gender expectations/restrictions. Patriarchy thrives and it is that, not men, that feminists fight against.
It's true that men may be the the main supporter behind patriarchy since it's existence benefits them the most. However, just like men can be feminists (more on that later), women can be supporters of patriarchy. Again, it is patriarchy feminists seek to destroy, not men.
- Anti Marriage and Family
This is probably the second biggest misconception I encounter as a feminist and it's probably a result of the misunderstanding of the feminist movement of the 1960s & 70s. If feminism was against being a wife and mother, it would be against the right for a woman to choose how she lives her life. Rather, feminism is against the expectation that a woman can ONLY be a wife and a mother, an idea/expectation that that is a pure result of the gender roles constructed by patriarchy.
Feminism believes a woman has the right to choose how she lives her life without the judgement or interference of society. If a woman chooses to be a wife and stay at home mom, great. If she chooses to be a wife and mom and wants to work outside the home, awesome. If she chooses to be married and not have kids, fantastic. If she chooses to remain single, wonderful. If she chooses to be a single mom, terrific. The whole point is that she has the right to CHOOSE.
- The Belief that Women Are Better than Men
The whole point of feminism is not to put women above men or to give women more benefits or privileges than men. If it did, we feminists would be no better than the perpetrators of patriarchy. The whole aim of feminism is equality. If it appears like we raise women up, it is only in the attempt to get them to the same level that men have enjoyed for centuries.
- Just Women
I am proud to say I have a lot of male friends who are feminists. Again, feminism believes in equality for both men and women. Men can make excellent feminists and I'm delighted whenever I find one.
(On a side note, there is no place inside the feminist movement for women who ostrisize men from feminism just because they are men. This pisses me off to no end. I've encountered these so called "feminists" who say men can't join the fight because they are male and therefore cannot possible empathize and understand the plight of women. While this may be true, it's a bullshit reason to exclude anyone from any activist movement whose aim is equality. Following that logic, non-gays can't believe and work towards gay rights. Non-blacks can't believe and work for civil rights. If the point is to be equal, ALL people are welcome to join the struggle.)
Feminism is...
- Still relavent and needed
I encounter this misconception all the time and unfortunately it's often from other women when they explain why they don't identify as feminists. While feminism has made great strides during its existence such as the right to vote, the right to higher education, Roe vs. Wade, reproductive rights in general, etc. the fight is far from over.
It is a fact that a women still get paid, on average, 75 cents for every dollar that a male makes for the same work. Rape culture is abundant and places far too much blame on the victim (when in actuality, NO blame should be placed on the victim). Reproductive rights are constantly being challenged. Sexism abounds. The hyper-sexualization and objectification of women is freaking everywhere. And probably most importantly, the mentalities that are a direct result of patriarchy still thrive and are considered the norm.
We have made gains, yes. But our struggle and our fight is not over and will never be over until patriarchy is destroyed.Not to mention, we must be constantly vigilant to ensure that the gains that we have made will never, ever be challenged again.
- A Movement that Encompasses All Aspects of Life
It is my belief that the main reason women don't see the need for feminism anymore is because they don't realize how patriarchy has defined every aspect of life as we know it. As such, the fight for feminism is a fight that involves every aspect of existence.
We fight for political freedom to choose our representatives, to not have them perpetuate patriarchal standards and to ensure our reproductive rights are protected. We fight for economic justice to see that women get paid the same as men for the work they do, to ensure that a woman is not passed over for a promotion or a job just because she has a vagina. We fight for social change, to end the hyper-sexualization and objectification of women, to destroy rape culture and domestic violence, to stop sexism everywhere it exists, and shatter all bullshit gender roles that try to define what being a woman means. We fight for educational opportunities that are equal to the ones men have enjoyed for years, to be taken seriously in any educational endeavor we choose and not be cast aside because we are women.
- For All Women
As mentioned above, feminism does not want to destroy families or marriage. We strive to ensure every single woman has the same right to choose how she lives her life free from judgement and persecution of society. There is a place for every single woman inside the movement, no matter your age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, marital status, immigration status, etc. Just as every woman can benefit from the existence of feminism, feminism can benefit from the experience, commitment and loyalty of every single woman. We are here to fight for the quality of our lives, to no longer be content as the "second sex."
Just as we are here today because of the struggle and fight of women before us, we fight for the women who will come after us. And we will never stop the fight.
Love you.
Mean it.
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