The other day I was having a discussion in the newsroom. Unlike most conversations that occur there, this one had nothing to do with sex, alcohol, obscure cinema, or dorky stuff. It was about the idea of women who keep their last name or hyphen their name when they get married. It was an interesting conversation, mainly because it was something I had thought about before & made a decision on years ago and have not thought about it since. I have always planned on taking my husband's last name should I find myself getting married. Like I said, I decided this years ago and haven't really thought about it since. But now I'm starting to reconsider it.
For as long as I can remember, I've always been a champion for women's rights. I guess you could call me a feminist, even though that title carries such a negative connotation nowadays. It seems like in today's society the title feminist is synonymous with bitch. I've been called a feminist before and I instantly get angry because it is said in such a negative fashion, as if the word "bitch" automatically has to follow the word "feminist." When did this happen? When did believing in equality between the sexes become such a negative thing?
It's kind of funny. In my improv group, they all know my political & ethical beliefs lean more to the left and about my passion for women's rights and they exploit it during games, which results in hilarious outcomes. Just last practice I was in a game of "Buzzers & Bells" with Chris and this other girl who is called Captain for some unknown reason. The scene was we were all at a feminist rally and Captain had brought Chris there to pick up on chicks. I came on later as an active participant in the rally. While talking to Captain & Chris, I began listing off facts (that are in reality accurate) about the oppression of women in the workforce, at school, etc. Captain then said something like "Wait, my mom raised me to stay at home, cook, clean, have babies, and wait on my husband because he's the leader of the family." What happened next was perfectly described by Reed & John afterward:
Reed: Kelly, your reaction to what Captain said, that furious rage, was so funny because it was so real.
John: Kelly, how did you get steam to come out of your ears? That was amazing.
Basically, it took all my strength not to kill a bitch right then and there.
I know people laugh about my feminist tendencies and yes, I'll admit it's one of my eccentricities but I don't understand how feminism became such a negative thing in our society. I grew up with the mentality that I should never be denied anything solely based on the fact I'm a woman. I have this "motto" of sorts: "I wish people would quit telling me I can do whatever I want. I never thought I couldn't." That's the God-honest truth. I grew up reading the works of Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Alice Walker, Eleanor Roosevelt, and others. I was drawn to powerful females throughout history, who fought for their voices to be heard. And even though I know my liberal vote doesn't mean a whole lot in this strict conservative state, I still vote because women who came before me fought tooth and nail so I could have the right to vote. If I don't take advantage of it, it's like their sacrifice doesn't matter.
So why am I still made fun of when I show my feminist side? Why is it something to be mocked? I really don't understand this at all. And if I were to tell my family & friends that I was considering keeping my last name or hyphenating it or whatever, I know I'm going to be made fun of. But why? What is so wrong about wanting to keep my identity? What is so wrong with fighting for equality? What is so wrong with wanting to show everyone that I am more than just a woman?
I guess I'll just add it to the list of things I just don't understand about this world.
Oh, and p.s.
"Women who aspire to be equal to men lack ambition."
Love you.
Mean it.
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