"Don't Do Anything Stupid."

"Don't do anything stupid."

I'd tell you that anytime we had to say goodbye. Even if I was just going to class and we were going to see each other later that night, I'd still say that. I figured it covered all the bases when it came to taking care of yourself. When I would write you emails that you would read in Iraq, I'd end them with the same line.

"Don't do anything stupid."

I guess when you were there, the line had more weight and meaning. I'd worry about you every day. If I didn't get an email on the day you'd usually send one, I'd be distracted all day, wondering if you were still alive or not.

Last night I gave this guy a ride into Provo. As he got out of my car I told him to be careful and caught myself before I could say it to him too. It's not that I haven't said it to other people before, but those people were close to me. I trusted those people like I trusted you. And though I'm not saying this guy I gave a ride to isn't trust worthy, I don't know him well enough to allow myself to trust him. I guess almost saying something to someone I barely know that I used to only say to you caught me off guard.

In all honesty, I haven't thought about you in awhile. I don't even think I've told a story about you recently. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel about that. I guess time does change things, even if we don't want them to. It's funny how someone who was once one of the most important things in your life can one day be nothing but a few good stories to tell or a few silent smiles that come from telling those stories.

I still miss you, though. I promise I'll always miss you.
Take care of yourself.
Don't do anything stupid.

Love you.
Mean it.