Withdrawals

I've written about this before, my attempt to not be on medications anymore. Since the the last time I've written about this, I've gone down to just taking two medications— a big improvement from the six I was taking a few years ago. And even the dosage of those medications has reduced drastically. But now I'm trying to go from two to just one. And it's not easy.

The trouble with taking a medication for nearly 10 years is your body is used to it so much so that when you cease the input, your body hates you. I've experienced withdrawals before and they're just horrible. I'm currently experiencing them again though not as intense as they can be. There are no cold sweats. I'm not shaking uncontrollably. I'm still slightly sensitive to light and sound but it's not too bad The only thing really bothering me is my head is killing me and my body feels weird, like I'm not sure it really belongs to me. I'm trying to take it easy over the next few days till my body readjusts itself.

My decision to stop being on medication primarily comes from the very fact I've been on them so long. I don't really recall a time when I wasn't on them. I want to see if I can function without them.

I'm not saying medications are bad. In fact, I'd claim the opposite. Medication and therapy definitely have their place. I wouldn't have gotten through the shit I've been through without them. The decision to go off them is a personal one and should not be judged by anyone.

I'm sorry if this post doesn't make any sense. My head is throbbing and the screen light isn't helping.
But I wanted to explain what was going on and why I'm doing it.

Love you.
Mean it.