Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Kelly the Frantic Forgetter, a Humorous Internal Monologue

Oh, look. There’s...shit. What is her name? I know her. She was in my graduating class. It’s...um...Bridget? Bethany? Lindsey? Shit! What is her name??? She took A Capella with me. She was even in my section, altos, though I don’t remember if she was a first or second alto... Think, Kelly. Think! Tiffany? No, I’d remember if her name was Tiffany. What a wretched name. Who in their right mind would name their daughter Tiffany? Do they think their daughter is going to stay 21 forever? No one is going to take an old woman seriously when she’s living in an old folks’ home & her name is Tiffany. Wait, don’t I know a Tiffany? She married what’s his name...that guy who once shot me with a BB gun when we were hanging out at his house... Never mind. Let’s try to remember one forgotten name at a time.

Anne? Adrian? Kimberly? Shit. I swear I know her name. She was dating that Justin guy the same time I was dating Jason. We’d hang out all the time since Justin & Jason were both on the drumline. Come to think of it, she was dating Justin the entire time I dated Alex then Jason then Kendall. Even after I got out of that abortion of a relationship (only to enter a bad-idea rebound) she was still dating Justin. What was Justin’s last name? Pitts? NO, Justin Pitts is currently my friend whom I just met back in March. I only met Justin Pitts on account of him being roommates with Jon. What was high school Justin’s last name? Justin...Justin...Justin...Timberlake. Oh, great. Now I got Sexyback stuck in my head. What the hell is her name???

Come on! She hung out with Nicole and Alexis and that Harmoney girl with the perpetually bad highlight job and fake nails. She lived up on the other side of Provo, kind of where Danielle’s parents live. She went to that one party Nicole had where it was all girls so we all wore our “immodest” tank tops (oh, to be young and naïve). We all stole that caution tape from that construction site (oh to be young and stupid). There’s a picture of me somewhere in my tank top with the caution tape wrapped around my boobs. I had a rather sultry look on my face (even for how young I was). Danielle was in the picture too! She was smiling that goofy Danielle smile that everyone (guys or girls) thought was so cute. My tank top was red & Danielle’s was yellow. I had a conversation later that night on the phone with Alex. All the girls were giggling so I had to go hide in a closet to hear him. And then two girls were wrestling in the hallway and someone’s knee smashed a hole in the wall. Why is it I can remember all this stupid stuff but I can’t remember her goddamn name???

Shit, she’s looking right at me. Quick! Pull out your phone. La-de-da. La-de-da...checking my text messages...smile as if I’m reading something funny (though I’m just reading mom’s misspelled text about how I need to let out the dog when I get home. She really needs to reread what she texted before she sends them). Is she gone? Looking from my peripheral... Okay, she’s gone. Goddamnit, what is her name? 

...

Brittany! It’s Brittany!

Love you.
Mean it. 

No comments:

Post a Comment