Things I thought I'd know by now, Part 2

Back in August of 2010, I made a list of things I thought I'd know by now. I reread it for some reason and I'm very proud to say that I have learned some stuff. Here's what I know:

#1–I do know what kind of information you need to exchange when you get in a car accident. I learned this by, well, getting in a car accident. Gaining knowledge is not always fun.

#3–I know how to change a tire. I learned this by getting a flat tire at the end of my shift at Pizza Hut and having Trevor and Adam come out and help me change it.

#8–I know now when to use 'who' & 'whom.' (Hint: it depends on whether or not you're using it as the subject or object of the sentence. Grammar rules!)

#7–I know how to pick a good pineapple (Hint: pull one of the leafy things from the middle at the top. If it comes out easily, it's ripe). (Shout out to Davey Morrison Dillard for his help on that one).

#9–I know when to use 'effect' and 'affect.' (Hint: effect = noun; affect = verb). (Shout out to Davey Morrison Dillard for help on that one.)

So those are the things I now know from that list. I have also learned a few things just by, you know, living:

1. I know how the game of baseball works, the history of the sport, and a lot of the slang involved in the game.
2. I know that Joan Crawford & Bette Davis hated each other.
3. I know how to cut a pineapple (Hint: howtocutapineapple.com)
4. I know how to care for a tattoo.
5. I know how to give a little child eye drops/ear drops (Hint: wrap them up in a blanket and sit on them.)
6. I know how to check to see if there's going to be frost on your car in the morning
7. I know how to use twitter (follow me @mskellycannon)
8. I know a lot about feminist film theory
9. I know how to tell a convincing lie.
10. I know what the Doppler effect is.
11. I know what Schrödinger's cat is.
12. I know when it's okay to run a yellow light (in the legal sense).
13. I know how to take decent photos.
14. I know how to write a resume & cover letter
15. I know how a zollying shot is taken in the movies.

However, I've found there are plenty of other things I thought I'd know by now that I really don't. Here are just a sample of my new quandaries.

1. How to buy/rent an apartment in another state.
2. What's the difference between a good bourbon and a cheap bourbon (i.e. what's the difference between Maker's Mark and Old Crow?)
3. How to curl my hair with a curling iron
4. How to shave my legs so that they stay smooth longer
5. Whether I prefer salted or unsalted butter
6. How a combustible engine works
7. How a microwave works
8. How often one should change their sheets
9. What are good qualities to look for in a diamond
10. How to properly choose make up that's appropriate for my skin tone, etc.
11. How early is too early for a job interview
12. How to polish silver
13. How wrestling is scored
14. How crayons are made

I guess I don't have much to complain about. I mean, this is kind of what life is about, learning new things and then realizing there's so much more I don't understand about the world around me. It's depressing and exciting at the same time.

Oh, and I still don't know how much it costs to get something dry cleaned.

Love you.
Mean it.