44 Guys

This comes from the sketch journal of a guy I used to know. His name is Chris Bodily. I met him down in Cedar. He hasn't updated it since May, which makes me sad since he always had cool things to draw/say. This one has stuck with me, even more so since moving back home. 

You know me. I make lists. I just made three lists: Guys I've Dated, Guys I've Kissed, and My Unrequited Crushes. The totals are as follows:

Dated: 21

Kissed: 27 (Keep in mind, some of the dated & kissed guys are the same)

Crushed: 12 (that I can remember off the top of my head. There are dozens more, I'm sure)

I look over these lists of guys who all have played a significant role in my life. And this is what I know. 

Six of them are married or engaged.

One has a wife who is expecting.

Three of them I know hate my guts.

Ten of them I can't stand

Twelve of them I haven't thought about in years.

Twelve of them probably don't remember me.

Two of them I can't remember their last names.

One of them I can't remember his name at all.

One is in Saudi Arabia

One is in Iraq

One is in the Utah State Mental Hospital.

Twenty I have no idea where they are. 

Two of them are brothers.

Two of them I thought I was going to marry.

&

Eight of them I can't forget.

Five because I don't want to. 

Three because they haunt me. 

I think Bodily had it right. 

"How is it that the more people that come into my life, the lonelier I feel?"

Love you.

Mean it.