As Heard in the Newsroom, Part 4

Yesterday, we built the very first Review issue of the summer. It turned out great and will hit the stands on Monday. As such, I thought I'd continue my tradition of showing the world how freaking hilarious we are in the newsroom. Enjoy.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Where is my freaking assistant???
-Andrea Whatcott

Student Government is their golden child and we’re the redheaded stepchild.
-Andrea Whatcott

I’d really like to bring a girl home, just to freak out my dad.
Yeah, me too.
-Andrea Whatcott & Jarom Moore

Guys, I promise I didn’t just break this drawer. I really promise.
-Elyse Taylor

Not it...
-Elyse Taylor, walking away from a drawer she just broke.

My mom dated losers.
-Elyse Taylor

I like Tom. I don’t know Tom and I like Tom.
-Jake Buntjer

Oh my shallow.
-Jake Buntjer

I’m old. If a woman was my age, she’d be even older.
-Jake Buntjer

Welcome to the newspaper.
Bwahahahaha!
-Jake Buntjer & John-Ross Boyce

This is what I’d look like if I was a meerkat.
-Jarom Moore

I had dinner plans at Del Taco!
-Jarom Moore

I’m more than fine not doing it.
-Jarom Moore

This would look way cooler if you could see me do it.
-Jarom Moore

Mean Machine single-handedly stopped the Rapture.
He died that we might live.
-Jarom Moore & John-Ross Boyce

Because I didn’t tell them I was at the moment still a BYU student for five years.
-John-Ross Boyce

Easy reflexes my ass.
-John-Ross Boyce

No, it’s not okay to litter.
-John-Ross Boyce

I know I may look like a hippie cause I have long hair & a beard but I am not!
-John-Ross Boyce

Just a big hydra of jackass-ery.
-John-Ross Boyce

I am not interested in Tom Hanks’s summer to-do list.
-John-Ross Boyce

Are there midgets in it?
-John-Ross Boyce

I don’t think I’ve ever seen J.R. so giddy before. He’s like a 5-year-old boy.
-Kelly Cannon, on John-Ross watching Dawn of the Dead

Yeah, I’m on top of shit!
-Kelly Cannon

I don’t throw the term ‘whore’ around a lot. I throw the term ‘whore-slut-face’ around quite a bit.
-Kelly Cannon

Don’t worry, Jarom. I feel you, figuratively speaking.
-Matt Peterson

We’re all driven. It’s just sometimes we shift it into neutral.
-Matt Peterson

Aren’t you a COMM major?
No! God, No! ... No offense.
-Matt Peterson & Kelly Cannon

We’re going to watch a movie so don’t learn anything.
-Robbin Anthony

Go get cancer.
-Sharece Willcoxon, to J.R. who is about to go smoke

Love you.

Mean it.