The World's Got Me Dizzy Again

Jude read the text Gracie had sent him.

"The world's got me dizzy again."

It was a line from a Bright Eyes song called "Landlocked Blues" and it was there code. It was a secret message Gracie would send to Jude if her depression ever got the better of her. Sometimes Gracie would become overwhelmed by sadness, despair, or pain. More often than not, there would be no discernable cause for the torment. It was then she would send Jude their code. He knew how bad those times could get and was worried. He was still at work, although he wasn't currently occupied by anything. The writing center on campus has been slow that day with only two appointments that were already over and no walk ins. Jude put his phone back in the front pocket of his jeans and ran his fingers through his disheveled blond hair. He had lost what little interest he originally had in his assigned Milton reading and closed the anthology. He checked his watch. Still another hour before the writing center closed.

He looked towards the two other tutors in the room. Shelley, a bright, somewhat bohemian girl was typing at a computer. She paused to push her hair behind her ear. She had long blonde hair that was naturally curly in a way that made people question if fairies really did exist. Her eyes were expressive and warm. She wore a white lacy tank top and a flowy peach skirt that came about two inches above her knees. She was barefoot, having taken off her sandals long ago. Seated next to her was Damian, a tall, intelligent young man who had a talent for witty and snarky remarks. His brown hair was shaggy and unkempt and he wore a plain green shirt with the words, "Make Art Not War" written in white on the front. He was seated in front of a computer next to Shelley but was drawing/writing in a notebook he always carried with him.

Shelley and Damian were arguing over whether or not Leonardo DiCaprio can succeed in a film that wasn't directed by Martin Scorsese when Jude interrupted them.
"Hey, do you think it'd be okay if I took off?"
Shelley turned to him with a smile to reply when her face changed.
"Is everything alright?" she asked looking right into his eyes. "Is Gracie okay?" Jude never knew how Shelley always seemed to know what was going on in everyone's heads. They were friends but had hung out outside of the writing center only a few times. She had met Gracie once when a bunch of the tutors had gone out to eat after midterms. Shelley had this ability to read people and understand nearly everything about them only after a few moments of interaction. It was an amazing talent, if not a bit creepy.
"Yeah, she's fine. She's just had a hard day. Would you two be okay if I just peaced out now?"
Damian looked up from his notebook. "Yeah, go," he said then turned his attention back to his writing. We'll hold down the fort."
~
Jude unlocked the door to the small one bedroom apartment he and Gracie shared. They had moved in after being together a year and were approaching their two year anniversary. The only lights on were in the kitchen to the left, which was open to the small living room Jude walked into after crossing the threshold. He saw Gracie's bag on the couch her parents had donated to their apartment. Jude looked down the small hallway to the left that separated the kitchen from the small pantry and laundry room. Directly in front of him was the door to the bedroom. The door was closed but light was coming out from the crack at the bottom. He put his messenger bag next to Gracie's and walked to the bedroom. He knocked softly.

"Come in," Gracie called in a tired voice. Jude walked in and saw Gracie laying in their full size bed, her back to most of the room. Jude closed the door behind him. He took off his jacket and placed it on the chair next to the desk to his left. Without turning, Gracie said, "I made some macaroni, if you're hungry."

"I'll have some in a bit," Jude said as he sat down on her side of the bed. He looked at her and when she didn't look back, began to take off his shoes.
"How was your day? Did you finish that Milton reading?" Gracie continued. Jude knew she wasn't trying to avoid a conversation about her depression. Gracie was genuinely interested in his day and making sure he was fed. She didn't want her depression to keep her from being a good friend and girlfriend to Jude.
"No, I didn't finish it," Jude admitted. "I don't know how I'm going to pass this class." It was then Gracie looked at him. "Don't worry. You will. You'll do great," she said with a hint of assurance. She looked back at the wall and Jude put his hand on her ankle that was hidden underneath the comforter. He rubbed it gently and looked at the wall as well. Just to the right of where he was looking, underneath the window was a bookcase jammed with books. They had been meaning to buy another bookcase for a while but have never got around to it. Jude stood up and walked over to it. He crouched down and surveyed the titles. He found what he was looking for and pulled out a well-worn hardback. Its dust jacket was long gone and was fraying at the corners. Jude walked around to his side of the bed, crawled under the comforter, propped himself up on pillows, and began to read aloud.

"A throng of bearded men, in sad-coloured garments and grey, steeple-crowned hats, intermixed with women, some wearing hoods, and others bareheaded, was assembled in front of a wooden edifice, the door of which was heavily timbered with oak, and studded with iron spikes."

As Jude read, Gracie's body language changed. She knew those words almost by heart. She knew what Jude was reading and it made her almost cry. Not out of sadness or despair, but out of amazement. It was the feeling of realizing someone knows everything about you, not because you remind them but because they listen. She turned on her back and stared at the ceiling while Jude continued.

"The founders of a new colony, whatever Utopia of human virtue and happiness they might originally project, have invariably recognized it among their earliest practical necessities to allot a portion of the virgin soil as a cemetery, and another portion as a site of a prison."

Gracie then looked at Jude, who stopped reading and looked at her. "Thank you," Gracie said and smiled. She turned and cuddled up to Jude, putting her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her. After an affectionate squeeze, he kept reading. The book was originally cream color but had black smudges from being read over and over. The front didn't have the title but instead an intricately decorated letter A, one matching the tattoo on the back Gracie's shoulder with the exception her's was a P.

Love you.

Mean it.