Life never turns out the way you plan it.

I am a lioness stalking her prey.

Well, more like an lioness practically begging her prey to let her have them.

In case you didn't know, I'm unemployed. I've been unemployed for a while now but I was also going to school so it didn't matter much to me. Now that I'm graduated, it matters a whole lot.

First off, I would really, really love to move out of my parents' basement. But I can't do that until I have some income. Funny how that works, eh? Second, I am bored out of my freaking mind. I have nothing but time and more time on my hands. I wake up every morning at 8 a.m. and it's all downhill from there. I spend a lot of time on my computer applying for various jobs but there's definitely a limit to how much of that you can do in a day. The rest of the time is spent being idle and bored.

Mind you, I've been aggressively trying to acquire employment. I apply for anywhere between 10-30 jobs a day. I've been able to have three interviews so far but to no avail. Today and tomorrow I have other interviews. It's very hard not to get discouraged by all of this rejection. But when you have, on average, 25 applicants for every one job, the chances of success are rather bleak.

I'm finding a common theme in my life. It comes from the movie "While You Were Sleeping." It is "Life never turns out the way you plan it." It's almost uncanny how often I think of this line over the course of my day. Life never turns out the way you plan it. I'm not even talking about plans you make for years in the future. I'm talking more like plans you make just for a few weeks in the future. I had this one job interview that I thought went really well. So well, in fact, that I started to look for an apartment somewhere near where I would work. I got so excited about the prospect of starting a new chapter in my life. Then, thud. I got the news I didn't get the job. All my dreaming and planning up in smoke. It was terribly depressing. And I know I shouldn't have counted my chickens before they hatched but it's unbearably hard not to. Right now, I feel like I'm in arrested development (the expression, not the t.v. show. The latter might be pretty cool.). I want so desperately to start a new chapter in my life, to try something new, to have an adventure in living. But no. I'm stuck right where I was a few months ago. Even worse so, since I don't have school to give me something to do everyday. I feel like I'm just ricocheting in an endless void with no real direction or purpose. It's frightening, yes. But more so, it's just boring as hell.

Love you.
Mean it.