The Tragical Moments of Improv

Back in high school, I was a drama kid. My friends and I preferred the term "theater kids," as if there really was a difference. I really enjoyed acting and performing. I've never had a problem being in front of a large group of people. Whether it was a talk in church or a presentation in class, I didn't think twice about being in front of people. Stage fright was a concept that was completely foreign to me. You can probably chalk it up to my moderate case of egotism but I love being in front of an audience.

The one thing I did not like about drama classes was improv games. Granted, I understood the value of them and what purpose they tired to achieve. But I was terrible at them and therefore hated them. Looking back, I know I was terrible at them for two or three reasons. One was I wasn't terribly self-confident in my abilities. I didn't trust myself when it came to coming up with clever ideas within a second or two. Sometimes I would get lucky but more often than not, I'd fail miserably. Another reason that is closely tied to the first one was I did much better as a performer when I had a script and I knew where the story was going to go. I had time to prepare and analyze everything. With improv, that same process must be done within seconds; not an adequate amount of time when I was that young.

Things have changed. Now I love improv. I'm also pretty good at it too. My self confident has grown and my mind is a lot quicker. I'm able to think of things a lot faster and anticipate where the scene is going. I've grown to really enjoy improv and look forward to the practices every week.

Last night was an especially funny practice. There were so many points where we were all out of breath laughing, tears nearly streaming down our faces. Driving home I realized something that nearly broke my heart. When you're doing improv and everything works and everything clicks, you create something brilliant & hilarious. But as soon as that moment is gone, it's gone forever and you can never recreate it. Comedians can tell the same jokes and you can watch the same Youtube video and get the same amount of laughter every time, but improv is fleeting. You can never recreate that moment of hilarity. It's kind of magical but in a very tragic kind of way.

Besides these temporary tragical moments, I have really enjoyed making friends with the others in my improv group. They're the closest things I have to friends here besides a handful of friends from the neighborhood. I'm glad I've met them and have been able to be in this group.

Love you.
Mean it.