Letter To My First Love

Last night I found out you are getting married. After a brief conversation with an old friend, I found out it's one of those "have to get married" type of situations. You got your girlfriend pregnant, so you proposed. This friend of mine assured me that you two are in love and she really thinks it's going to work for you two. I hope she's right. I don't need to tell you the deck is stacked against you, but hey, you two could be the exception. I mean, after all you're in love.

I'm sorry if I sound bitter. I'm really not. Forgiving and forgetting has never been my strong suit. It's just when I heard the news of you and your fiance, I couldn't help but think that could have been us. If we would have stayed together, it's more than likely that we would've wound up pregnant years ago. Thank God for little miracles, I guess. I think you know as well as I do that would've been a horrible situation, not only for you and I but for the kid we would've brought into this world.

But maybe you and your fiance will make it work. My friend kept telling me you two are really in love. But I just kept thinking that you and I were in love and look how that turned out. All the anger and hatred, the lies and secrets, the bitterness and the petty attacks at one another, that isn't how love is suppose end up. Despite everything that happened, I'll never deny we were in love. Did you know I still wear the claddagh ring you gave me years ago? Each one of my rings is from a significant point in my life. That one is from the first time I was ever in love. Now, nearly five years later, you're getting married, about to be a husband and a father, and I'm still trying to decide if love is really all it's cracked up to be. I've only been in love twice in my life and both times nearly destroyed me when they fell apart. I'm starting to feel like if you love someone that passionately and fervently, then when it ends it has to be just as powerful and packed with emotion. Is it even worth it then?

Despite everything that has happened between us, I really do hope things work out for you and your new family. Maybe you'll prove everyone wrong. I really hope you do.

Love you.
Mean it.