Things People Have Said That Made Me Laugh Part 2

Amber McNew: You crazy Canuck!
Ashley McNew: I'm not Jewish!

Brad Aukschun: If you steal from a church, no matter what the denomination, I'm pretty sure you're going to hell.

Bryan Shumway: I like Spanish Kelly. It's Fun!

Bryan Shumway: Kathy, I don't understand. You had 12 kills, yet you're still negative seven.

Bryan Shumway: I do not support people over $25.

Cindy Cannon: Get off of me, you emotionally imbalanced girl!

Greg Cannon: Stop pinching me!
Ali Cannon: Well, stop farting in my face!

Winston: What are you going to do? Put a gun to his head?
Guerrero: What's wrong with putting a gun to his head? A lot of productive things have happened by putting a gun to someone's head.
(From the show Human Target)

Jacob Ludlow: This is a judgment-free zone, but let's try not to make it confusing.

Jacob Ludlow: Okay, guys. Be normal for just a second!

John-Ross Boyce: I am the hydra of disdain.

John-Ross Boyce: It's like eating bad meatloaf while watching a NCIS marathon.

Kelly Cannon: You lied to me. You said a woodchipper wasn't involved.

Michelle Galbraith: Nothing like jeans inside of a onesie.

Mindy Haward & Kelly Cannon: The Culture Section--if it's not awesome, we're not there.

Natalie: You were probably just bisexual for a half-hour.

Unknown Newsroom Person 1: Where does the BYU newspaper get their budget from?
Unknown Newsroom Person 2: Mormons.

Robbie Pierce: Quick! Crush the recorder!
Eric Phillips: Did you say recorder or reporter?
Robbie Pierce: Does it matter?

Rikki: You're a bad feminist.

Mindy Haward: Dave wants us to push Oklahoma in the next issue. And by push, I mean promote the shit out of it.

Augustus Johnson: Actually, that's creepily optimistic coming from you. Quick, say something miserable!
Kelly Cannon: Uh...Puppies grow up, grow old, and die?

Augustus Johnson (upon finding out it's my birthday): Shit. Is it the 17th already?! Crap. Oh well. Happy Birthday!!! Welcome to the happy ranks of the 23 year olds!

Augustus Johnson (during a discussion on how to spell Okay Dokay): Isn't it "okey dokey?" Shit. Now they both look weird.

Jonathan Timothy (responding to a text I sent saying I was hopeless): You?!? Noooo. The Kelly I know doesn't give up that easily. Who is this?

Love you.
Mean it.