I should mention the criteria of this list. I've only included human characters. Yes, Miss Bianca from The Rescuers is pretty cool and Maid Marion from Robin Hood acts like human, despite being a lynx or something but in order to be on this list, you've got to be human. Also, I've excluded Lilo from Lilo & Stitch because that movie came out when I was in high school & an annoying 4 year old girl isn't a good role model for girls in high school. And with that out of the way, allons-y!
Snow White, in Snow White (1937)
Of course the very first full-length animated movie has to have the absolute worst female heroine of all time. She can't even really be called a heroine because she's the most wimpy, pathetic, whiny woman ever! Don't believe me? Go back and watch the scene where she gets lost in the woods and the trees suddenly look terrifying. All she does is scream, "Oh! Oh!" mixed in with a few legitimate screams. Geez, what a little wimp. She then comes across a house and what does she do? She goes inside! What the what??? First of all, I'm sure that's a form of breaking and entering. Second, she just found out her stepmother is trying to kill her, the forest just transformed into scary trees on acid and she thinks going into a stranger's house is a good idea??? For that, I wish a serial killer lived there and taught her a valuable lesson. But not only does she go into the house, she freaking cleans the house! Oh, yeah. That's totally normal. She then spends the rest of the film cooking, cleaning, and being a pansy. Then she's stupid enough to eat an apple given to her by a complete bat-shit crazy old woman (who doesn't look sketchy at all...) and then falls asleep waiting for her prince to come. Dumb bitch. It's obvious that the writers/animators have never heard of women's liberation, but that can be semi-forgiven. It doesn't really come about for another 30 years or so. But still, Snow White sucks.
Princess Aurora, in Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Princess Aurora is generally a pathetic character. She falls head over heels in love with the first man she meets (when she's 16 years old for fuck's sake!) and when she needs to leave & he asks when he'll see her again, she cries in a high(ish) voice, "Oh, never! Never!" And he replies with, "Never?" And she replies, "Well, maybe someday." to which she means tomorrow. Seriously, this prince, who is probably closer to 30 is hitting on some 16 year old & basically manipulating her into loving her. But apparently in 1959, that's totally cool. Not to mention, she spends nearly a third of the movie asleep, waiting for her prince to save her, thereby solidifying the 16 year old fantasy that she's in love. If little girls were to follow her example, we'd see a lot more episodes of 16 & Pregnant.
Alice, in Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Okay, maybe a little lenience can be granted since she's just a little girl. But still, she's a stupid little girl. She sees a white rabbit in a waist coat and decides to follow it. This in itself is not stupid. Hell, I'd be a bit curious myself. Where she gets dumb is climbing inside that deep, dark and creepy hole. Yeah, that looks safe and not dangerous at all. Then, while in Wonderland, she eats & drinks things because they say too. If this girl survives into young adulthood, she's going to be the easiest target for date-rapists. She hardly ever shows a bit of sense in her adventures. Of course, sense has very little to do in Wonderland but still, a little couldn't hurt.
Cinderella, in Cinderella (1950)
Talk about a bitch with no backbone. She is forced to cook and clean for her stepmother and stepsisters because they said so. I never see them threaten her with physical violence or taking away her food. She just does it because she is so "kind" that they walk all over her. I mean, even the cat pushes her around. She talks about escaping and living her dreams etc. but never actually does anything about it. She's like that one person who always talks about getting out of their hometown but ends up being the assistant manager at Staples in his 40s. Not to mention, her best friends are mice. That's kinda creepy, don't you think?
Rapunzel, in Tangled (2010)
Okay, I'll admit I loved this movie. It was fun and exciting and clever. But the main reason Rapunzel is so high on this list is because she's goddamn annoying! I mean, seriously! Go watch the scene where she's all bipolar between being excited about being out and feeling guilty for disobeying her mother. That's only a small taste of how really obnoxious this girl is. If you want to escape so badly, go out and never look back. Remember what happened to Lot's wife?
Jasmine, in Aladdin (1992)
Here's the main reason Jasmine pisses me off. I hate the whole "Oh, I'm royalty. I have no real freedom. My life is so hard," plot line. I'm sorry, but I just can't get myself to believe that royalty with a shit-load of money and the freedom to do pretty much whatever they want have a hard life. I mean, yeah, being told where to go & how to dress is rough but not as rough as stealing food to fucking survive! Here's another reason I hate Jasmine. She's all bad-ass by using a pole to vault herself across buildings. But then get Jafar involved and suddenly she's powerless to help herself. Except, of course, by seducing him to distract him as Aladdin comes to her aid. There's a nice message for young girls. If you're ever in trouble, sleep your way out of it.
Ariel, in The Little Mermaid (1989)
Ariel is a pretty cool chick. I mean, she's pretty tough, she saves Prince Eric from drowning, she's insatiably curious, and she's a daddy's girl. These are all good qualities in my book. However, she's still a freaking annoying 16 year old who thinks she knows more than her dad, who, by the way, is the freaking king of the ocean! I think he knows a thing or two about life, Ariel. What really pisses me off is her line, "I'm 16 years old! I'm not a child!" Actually, Ariel, by most definitions you are.
Pocahontas, in Pocahontas (1995)
Okay, Pocahontas is pretty legit. I mean, she does stop her father from declaring war on the invading white men, a war that they obviously would've been slaughtered in. But the real reason she stopped the war was so she could save John Smith's life because she 'loves him.' I don't care how you slice it, honey. You've kinda turned your back on your own people. Not to mention, when there is dangerous stuff going on she totally ignores the warnings and goes out alone because nothing bad ever happens to gorgeous women alone in the forest that was recently invaded by a troop of men who have spent the last X-amount of months alone on a ship with no women. It's a miracle you ran into John Smith, a guy who seems to be more motivated by exploration than raping.
Tiana, in Princess and the Frog (2009)
First of all, props to Tiana for being the first main character who is African American. The only others I can think of are the Muses from Hercules but they're not main characters. I mean, they serve as the chorus to the life of Hercules. And not only is Tiana the first African American princess, she's also a really positive role model for young girls. She's motivated, feisty, independent, and strong. The only reason she ranks lower on this list is sometimes she's just annoying, letting her dreams stand in the way of real happiness in the present.
Megara, in Hercules (1997)
Megara, or Meg, is a sassy, quick-talking independent chick. She totally plays up the whole 'damsel in distress' bit to its full humorous potential. When she is being held captive by the Minotaur, Hercules asks her if she's a damsel in distress. Her reply is, "I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle it." Her lines are usually delivered rapid fire and are fairly funny. Her main flaw is she uses her feminine wiles to manipulate our poor Hercules. However, you find out the only reason she's Hades's slave is she sold her soul to save the life of her love (who then runs off with some 'babe') thereby showing she has a good heart. And she does come through in the end, sacrificing herself to save Hercules.
Alice, in Alice in Wonderland (1951)
Cinderella, in Cinderella (1950)
Rapunzel, in Tangled (2010)
Jasmine, in Aladdin (1992)
Ariel, in The Little Mermaid (1989)
Pocahontas, in Pocahontas (1995)
Tiana, in Princess and the Frog (2009)
Megara, in Hercules (1997)
Jane, in Tarzan (1999)
Jane is legit. She's a Victorian era lady who travels all the way to Africa to study gorillas. For a woman at that period of time to travel to the middle of nowhere to pursue scientific discoveries is phenomenal. She serves as the example of the liberated woman. She's educated, clever, brave, adventurous, and has a good heart. She stands up to Clayton, a man who could snap her in half. She's also pretty funny too. I like that in a role model.
Belle, in Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Personally my favorite princess/heroine, Belle is smart, well-read, and brave. She's mostly motivated by saving and protecting her father. She's not intimidated by the Beast as time goes on and learns to even care for him. She smart enough not to fall all over the arrogant Gaston, realizing he's kind of a dick. When he accuses her of having feelings for the monster (meaning the beast), she bravely retorts, "He's no monster, Gaston. You are!" That takes some balls (or ovaries, if you will). She has a sense of adventure that cannot be beat, wanting to get out of her boring town and live the life she's only read about in books. Which brings up the main fact Belle is so cool: The girl loves books! The present the Beast gives her is a giant library and she's ecstatic. Never trust a girl who doesn't love books.
Esmerelda, in The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
Esmerelda is pretty kick-ass. She's aggressive when it comes to defending herself and her people, but also kind and tender when it comes to helping Quasimodo. She fights Phoebus with a tall candle stick (while he has a sword), she stops the crowd from tormenting Quasimodo, and when she's tied up to be burned at the stake and Frollo offers to save her if she becomes his sex slave, she freaking spits in his face! This chick is hardcore! She's selfless, strong, and clever, making her the ideal role model for young girls.
Mulan, in Mulan (1998)
Mulan is the most kick-ass awesome Disney heroine for one main reason. In order to save her father from having to serve in the army, she cuts her hair, pretends to be a boy, and goes to freaking war! And back then, war was some rough stuff. Not that it isn't now, mind you, but back then it was mostly hand to hand combat with horrific effects. This chick loves her father so much that she's willing to endure all of that and possibly die in order to save him. Then, on top of all that, she freaking saves China from the Huns! It's her smart thinking and bravery that ends up saving the Emperor and the rest of the people. She's definitely the heroine girls should want to grow up to be.
Well, there's my list. If you disagree with any of them, please feel free to comment.
Love you.
Mean it.
I want to fight you on these. Immediately, you've said that Mulan's best female trait was that she is a man trying to save men. I don't see many female based motivations or actions. Am I saying that bravery is masculine? Make up your own mind, I'm just saying that she did not do it as a woman.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you condemn Alice's curiosity but reward it in other characters. Where's the consistency? Anyway, for some reason, Princess talk is interesting to me. Maybe it's because I've been reading "Cinderella Ate My Daughter," by Peggy Ornstein. If you want to continue this conversation, holla.
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ReplyDeleteI think Kelly's right now that I think about it... Not BRAVERY but physical strength is a typical characteristic that would be considered manly. But masculine doesn't just mean men, it's just USUALLY categorized for men. And Mulan DID do it as a woman, unless she had a sex change I'm unaware of?
ReplyDeletePretty sure it was a serious plot point.
ReplyDeleteYou’re demonizing housekeeping with Snow White. Just who is safe to housekeep? Migrant workers exclusively who have ethnicity to offset the “undesirable” job? While she doesn’t say it out loud, she is trying to use her skills to be valuable to the people she is begging for protection. But yeah, she makes enough bad decisions with the witch and the prince that I don’t disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteSleeping beauty. You can’t really begrudge a 16 year old for being a sixteen year old, but she is a bad role model. An accurate representation? I was never a teenaged girl, so you tell me.
Alice in Wonderland. Deep, dark, scary hole…but that’s inhabited by a talking rabbit in a waistcoat! Also, have you ever been at the mercy of strangers or in another country, possibly hungry and thirsty? Sometimes you take a chance. I haven’t seen this in ages, but I remember her main flaw to be English sensibility and intolerance.
Cinderella’s kindness. Filial Piety. Yeah, I don’t know. The moral is that kindness pays off in magic. That is pretty flawed. But it also wins her respect and affection from people with integrity. She also took her shot when it came by. She wasn’t a bad-ass, but she didn’t avoid life completely.
Rapunzel. Of course she doesn’t remember Lot’s wife. Religion barely exists in the media. Your argument is that she’s a bad role model for being thoughtful. The writers also tried really hard to give her all the creative and intelligent hobbies they could. If you ask me, her problem is that she never felt complete without a man.
Jasmine. Yeah, you’re right on there.
Ariel. She is a child and makes plenty of mistakes. She’s proactive, an individual, etc. I’m at a loss of what you want her to have said to her father.
Pocahontas. Not that she understands what danger the white folks would be more than usual. Thing is, the tribes there weren’t all friendly, so she should know to be careful around strangers. They wanted us to feel like she was competent in the woods, I think. But yeah, total blood traitor.
Tiana. I forget too much of this movie. Mainly, I just think you’re being pretty hard on her.
Meg. She’s not the worst role model in the world. If you’re gonna hate Tiana for not knowing her whole heart, you might as well hate Meg for falling for that first guy. In fact, I kinda like her. Yeah, her main flaw is joining the devil-equivalent and taking advantage of everyone she meets. Being a compulsive liar isn’t so hot, either.
Jane. I think I read an article about the woman she’s based off of. She is cool. However, you’re hating on Alice and Pocahontas for exploring a lot less intimidating places than the Victorian image of Africa.
Belle. I like her, too, but the Prince is not really any better or safer than Gaston. He just has tragedy and money in his life. That makes him more romantic on paper, but also less accountable. I think she was pretty stupid for falling for him.
Esmeralda. Really don’t remember her. Back to the source material, she is all sorts of immature and tragic.
Mulan. She is not deliberately empowering women, but she does great things, but she does it in a man’s role. I guess I misinterpreted your point with these, cause I tried to see feminism. Mulan is pretty awesome and willful and respectful and capable. All good.
I agree with him above ^ AND you on all your points.
ReplyDeleteThe only point I'd like to state that wasn't mentioned above was Cinderella's kindness. I think they were emphasizing kindness and compassion under extremely devastating circumstances. Anyone can be kind when life is rosy, but Cinderella's kindness shines through the abuse of her family AND is recognized by good people who value that kind of good found, no matter what background she may have come from. Other than that, I believe she was made out to be "dumb" and "compliant", but all characters need room to grow, or they wouldn't be human and relateable. :)