Saturday, March 15, 2014

When this Kelly was me.

"We all change when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay. That's good. You've got to keep moving. So long as you remember all the people you used to be."
—The Doctor
"The Time of the Doctor"
Doctor Who

The last time I posted anything was two days before I was given permission by my landlord to get a dog. That very day, I went down to the Cache Humane Society and adopted Honey, a heeler/corgi mix (Possibly. I'm not entirely sure and neither were they.) She's currently asleep on (literally on) my feet. She's one of the greatest things to ever happen to me and I love her so much, it's hard to describe.

I think the above quote is true. I think about all the different times in my life and how they are linked to different Kellys. The Kelly I was in Cedar City is not the same as the Kelly in Provo pre-college, just as the Provo Kelly pre-college is not the same as the Provo Kelly post-college. 

The other weekend, I found myself in Provo for my mom's birthday. On that Saturday, I went out for a drink with a dear friend. We migrated to a party where I felt so uncomfortable and out of place. It was no one's fault. I just didn't know anybody and I can be quite shy, despite all outward appearances. 

This made me reflect on that above quote. I was a Provo girl but from a different "When," if you will. My Provo had "moved on," as Stephen King would put it. And my Provo is not the same as the Provo that is now. (I hope this is making sense. If not, read "The Gunslinger" by Stephen King)

All of the different Kellys in my life are tied to places that I've lived and significant shifts in my life. I can feel another shift coming on. I have no reason to feel this way. Maybe I just have a sense that it is once again time for me to move on. 

But if it really is time for this Kelly to end and another Kelly to begin, I will not forget one bit of the person that I am. I will not forget one line, the persons I have loved, both intimately and from afar or the triumphs or sorrows. The Logan Kelly is entirely unique. And I will never forget when this Kelly was me. 

Love you.
Mean It.