#104: When you look back at all of your exes, what do they all have in common?

You may recall a while ago, I  asked you all to pick which question I would answer next. I know I said I'd answer it in a few weeks but I never did. So this is me, finally getting around to it. Anyway, the question with the most votes was: When you look back at all of your exes, what do they all have in common?

When I look back at all my exes, first, I realize I have a lot to look back on. If we only count from high school on, I've dated the following guys (mostly in order with maybe a misplacement or two): Derrek, Alex, Jason, Kendall, Danny, Dan, Adam, Conrad, David, Andrew, Brian, Sage, Greg, Augustus, Nick, and Scott. I don't know if that's a lot comparatively but I suppose that doesn't matter. It is what it is.

Anyway, here are some of the things that my exes have had in common:

1. They have all been relatively laid-back.
Instances: Alex, Jason, Danny, Dan, Adam, Conrad, David, Brian, Sage, Greg, Augustus, and Scott.

In all honesty, all of my exes have been pretty laid-back. The names I left out weren't necessarily neurotic or anxious. They just weren't as laid back as the others.

I view myself as a mostly laid-back person. I don't like to get riled up. I hate complicated situations. And I'd much rather spend my weekend with friends watching a movie or hanging out than going out partying or clubbing.

I'm not attracted to guys who aren't laid-back. In my mind (which is probably a sexist assumption invented by our patriarchal society and embedded in my brain) the opposite of being laid-back is being high maintenance, a quality I would attribute to women more than men. However, since I don't see myself has being high maintenance, if my guy is more high maintenance than me, I feel like the guy in the relationship (which is one thing I hate).

2. They've all been able to make me laugh.
Instances: Alex, Jason, Conrad, David, Brian, Sage, Augustus, Nick, Scott.

I have always found a sense of humor to be very attractive. This is probably why a good part of my exes have been able to make me laugh. I can't stand to be around stiff, serious people. I like to be around people who can find the humor in about every situation.

3. They've all been relatively poor.
Instances: Alex, Jason, Adam, David, Andrew, Brian, Sage, Greg, Augustus, Nick, Scott.

The other day my friend asked me if I have ever dated a sugar daddy. I replied, "Are you kidding? I considered myself lucky if they guy I was dating had a job."

I've never dated a guy who had a ton of money. As a couple, we did everything on the cheap. I've never been showered with expensive gifts (or really gifts at all) or been taken out to nice restaurants. Which, honestly, is fine with me. I think it'd be weird to date someone who did those things.

4. They've all been passionate about something.
Instances: Everyone except Andrew

They guys I date usually have at least one passion. For some (in fact, a good amount) it was drumming. For others, it was art. For others, it was just being really super smart. Not being passionate about something  is what I would consider a deal breaker. I don't know what Andrew's problem was. He honestly wasn't passionate about anything. But he was a rebound off of a year & a half relationship so I cut myself some slack when it comes to him.

That's all the similarities I can think of for right now. If I remember any others, I'll be sure to let you know.

Love you.
Mean it.