This Ended Up Being About Loyalty

My sister is upstairs with her friends. Tonight was their high school football homecoming game. They're all decked out in the orange and blue of the mighty Timpview Thunderbirds. They're all loud and annoying, like any teenager, I suppose.

One of them asked me if I wanted to join their party. I politely decline, though the thought of punching her in the face did flash in my mind. I'm six years older than them. Is this what I've come to? I swear at one point in time I was cooler than this. Friday night and my only company is my dog, Scotty.

In my defense, I did have plans. They were cancelled last minute. I was going to hang out with this guy named Lehif (that is his real name, I promise) but his friend was having some car trouble so he was helping him out. And considering I'll pretty much drop anything to help out one of my friends, I can't be too judgmental.

I've been thinking a lot today. Mostly about the idea of loyalty. I tried to figure out how many people I'm fiercely loyal to, people I would stand by and fight against anything they were facing, people I would defend no matter what. If they needed me, nothing would stop me from helping them. And I came up with a grand total of three.

Three. That's it. Only three people I consider myself to be fiercely loyal to. I don't know what that means exactly. Maybe I'm getting smarter about who I trust. Maybe I've been betrayed too many times to trust anyone else. Maybe these three mean more to me than I initially realized.

The kind of crappy part of this is each of these three guys (yes, they're all guys. If you really knew me, you wouldn't be surprised) lives at least three hours away. This makes things hard when I feel like I need them and their loyalty to me. I know they're just as loyal to me.

Well, okay, not 100% true. Two of them I know are fiercely loyal. The other one I just hope he is. I hope I never have to test that. It will break my heart if he isn't.

This has been mostly ramblings, an attempt to get my mind off of things for a bit. Just for the record, it didn't work.

Love you.
Mean it.